Where to?

John Maxwell fascinates me.  I wish I had his skill set, and perhaps I could but public speaking exhausts me, and I don’t think that is my path.

I find a lot of meaning in work, and I suppose I found meaning at the data center.  We were building something.  The wrong way yes, and they people did not care, but microsoft seems to have turned itself around. 

That is what I want for my life, for my dreams, to be a part of something.  To build it might even be better, and that is what I have here but I have no control. Am I building anything then?  As I write this, I become more optimistic about my time here, just have to take the long road.  I have already put myself on it with school, looking to lose weight, maybe a certification, a child.  

I think I want the recognition, the security, the money, but my therapist says it is alot of “should”.  Get rid of the “should”. Should can drive you though, I probably would not have gone to Mexico without should.  Finished college without should.  Maybe people with direction do not need should. I do!

Maxwell talks about dreams, practical dreams, feet on the ground dreams.  With no limitations NASA would be great, but it really is impossible now, that is the secret of youth.  If you want something like that, you start at 10 and don’t look back.

My dream is to work for a company on a path I support, sports, space, fun, tech, with a group of highly engaged people, excited about what they are doing.  Somewhere I can stay for 30 years until I retire.  Health is good, but I do not know if they really believe what they are selling, they are too cautious, and not ambitious.  Only the CEO is ambitious and he is fairly absent.

That is what I want, CLO or director of learning at a place I vet 100%.  Look at their people, their tenure, the companys history and progress.  I made a mistake not doing that here, it may shake out in time, but I am still on this side of pessimistic.

One thought on “Where to?”

  1. You can do this, l enjoy your writing. Hope you’re having a wonderful day today.

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