[429] ~*Wed – 12/26/18*~

[1:11 am]

I just wish someone could take my goddamn side for once. Everyone always take who ever else side and no one ever takes my side and care about how I goddamn feel. It’s always how the other one feels. I’m so tired of this bullshit that I just feel like being suicidal right now cause I know no one would give a fuck if I go. People say they care when deep down they honestly don’t.

That friend of mine decided to write today and blah. I told mom and mom is saying I should forgive and blah blah. She was basically talking about church shit and I don’t know where the hell that came from but just got me pissed off even more cause I don’t believe in religion as to me it’s a bunch of bull crap.

Anyways, she thinks I’m taking it too far and why can’t she just take my side for once. Every time something happens she’s taking my husband side and now my friend’s side. To her, I’m always in the wrong and it hurts. I really feel no one cares about MY feelings. I swear, I’m wishing I could just freaking die right now. I just puked my life away so it’s not making me feel any better about anything. I feel miserable.

I went to bed at like 9 pm last night and slept till about 3 pm today. I went to the casino for the buffet with hub and some friends. I played and lost about $60 and hub $40. Meh!

I got home I did the dishes, laundry, put away some clothes, took a shower and washed my hair, dried my hair. I never stop. I have one day off in like 40 days and I’m still doing stuff.

I also had another friend text me which had last texted about a month and a half ago. Had asked how I was doing which I responded not good as it was when I had my panic attack and all about the ceilings and he never even texted back after that. Just to show how much people give a fuck about me. They all just pretend to care. I am just so hurt right now. I’m always giving my all to people and then they just forget about me when I’m not needed anymore. Why can’t people just care about me?! 

Alright, I’m getting really depressed right now so I’m just going to stop. I’ll go back to my reading cause I just don’t feel like sleeping as I slept all day but I will need to sleep soon cause it’s really late and I work in the morning. I already feel tired for the morning and know I will have a hard time getting up.


2 thoughts on “[429] ~*Wed – 12/26/18*~”

  1. hello,
    I’m sorry youre feeling so down, i know what you mean i feel the exact same way sometimes but just want to tell you just incase you haven been told today that your feeling do matter and how you feel and your opinion are just as important as everyone elses…. no matter what other people say!!! Keep your head up 🙂

  2. @Angelrie; Thank you so much for the comment, it’s greatly appreciated. While reading your comment, I actually realized that I was smiling so thank you again for that. =)

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