um

Um, my life is such a mess.

 

I get tortured and interrogated to talk and no one seems to understand.  Like, now in the library, people are saying I talk to livelihood.  I don’t even know what that means.  I don’t talk to gentlemen either. I also don’t know what that means.  

 

I just figure it’s electronic harassment, which is a part of organized stalking.  Look up organized stalking if you’re reading this and electronic harassment because it’s too much information to me to even try to summarize.

 

I just am so stressed out.  I get tortured by sonic wave and microwave weapons.  There are at least 20 levels of audio input sound in my own home.  I get asked questions about anything and everything for 8 years.  The weapons are killing me.  My health is failing fast.

 

My dog died October 5.  I miss her immensely.  She was my bff.

 

My mom is on meth, pills (not even just one prescription, she has a pharmacy in her house) and sometimes alcohol.  Seriously, my mom has prescriptions in her house for things she doesn’t even have.  I think she doctor shops.  My dad and I decided to tell the police and have her arrested, figuring that would get her clean and sober.  She won’t do any time.  She’s a retired attorney with no criminal record.  She’ll probably get community service and seeing a probation officer once a month.  She would have to take urine tests and also go to NA .  No big deal.  I reported online twice about my mom.  I don’t know what happened, but she didn’t get arrested.  I’m worrying about her dying from the drugs.  Now my dad has also retired so at least he’s around her more so maybe he can call 911 if she dies.

 

Her meth and pill addictions have destroyed my life.  She has beat me up countless times and then called the police to lie and say I hurt her.  I didn’t.  She lied to my whole family, including my son and told them I was crazy or on meth.  Um, no I don’t do drugs.  I’m not crazy.  I don’t know what to do.  I guess just not talk to her.  I haven’t spent Christmas, Easter or anything else, including my uncle’s funeral for 3-4 years!  She won’t even give me my family’s phone numbers or addresses!  Uck.  I need to go to a Nar Anon meeting.  There’s one on Wednesday, but the one time I made it, it was cancelled.  IDK.  I’m so worried about her.  

 

I wish I could have someone clean up my house and maybe I could have people over and if  I felt the weapons being turned up, I could ask them to leave or we could both leave.  Nope.

 

BLAH!

One thought on “um”

  1. Sorry you are going through this. My husband was an addict too so I’ve been where you are. kinda. It doesnt get easier. You just need to get out. You and your son. it seems scary but life will get better without the effects of addiction in it. i promise. Hopefully you have someone in real life you can talk to. Im sure at the very least there is a charity or something you can find. Seems you are in america, so very far from me here in UK, but hopefully, somewhere you can get help. WIshing you all the courage and hope for the best future possible. x

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