i have panic attacks when i’m asleep.
i have panic attacks in the daytime too.
recently i’ve really wanted to die. again. i’m exhausted and cold and jittery and angry. i’ve been thinking a lot, and i don’t know what i’m going to do or what i want to do.
i’m so scared. i’ve been avoiding all of my responsibilities… i feel disgusting and gross and afraid and just not well.
i just want to feel okay and not this terrified.
writing this up makes me want to cry. there is no one for me to tell this to because no one could do anything for me anyway and it probably wouldn’t even make any sense to anyone else. it doesn’t make sense to me either. i’m just sad and anxious, all the time.