I’m on your mind

As much as it feels good it hurts…

To be on your mind when I deserve so much more.  I am a queen and deserve to be treated as such. I should be spoiled, nurtured and kissed on a daily basis. I should be waking up next to you. I should be falling asleep on tour arms. I should be getting flowers delivered to my job. I should be getting first class treatment but I don’t.

Second is not for me! I don’t play this part well at all. 

I’m an Alpha female who needs dominance and passion. I need affection and constant love and attention. I crave your attention but I don’t get enough.

It’s not fair, so I no longer want to play.

It’s not fun anymore… being the backup. She’s your number one but you call me to fill in the spaces. No more. You said you were lonely without her. You want to renew your vowels with her yet you yet you won’t let me go. 

She stole my Christmas with you from me without effort! No hesitation form you just excuses for me. It almost feels like you were upset with me for being upset…

You asked me to walk away from you.  I didn’t want to do it but you made me pay for not listening. The saddest part is that you didn’t really care how it made me feel. You weren’t on damage control at all. It felt more like an “I told you so”

You do a great job of playing the victim. You don’t get to be upset that I block you or that I need time when you have her! 

Maybe you miss me but not enough to make any sacrifices. So, why do you insist on being selfish. 

LET ME GO! 

I still love you but if you truly loved me things would be different. 

I give up! On you. On whatever this was so you can be true to her. I made the sacrifice, not you. I wish you happiness because that’s truly all I wanted for you, to smile. 

I miss they smile. It brightened up my day however I’ll have to find a new one to replace yours. I’d rather not torture myself by being your fool forever so the time the I spent in that role is all you get.

You’ll never feel me again…

You’ll never taste me again…

You’ll never get the chance to fool me again…

Letting you go was the best and most healthiest thing I could do for myself. 

I’ll follow your lead. I’ll grant your wishes.

I LOVE YOU BUT LOVE MYSELF SO MUCH MORE! 

Next time, LOVE ME! 

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