Learned Lesson

So there was this boy I met, awhile ago…one who changed my perspective about what love could truly be. I looked in his eyes and felt an immediate spark radiating from both him and I. I wanted to know him, really truly know him, yet he kept a quiet vibe to him, until we ended up alone… just liked I pictured. He would hold a shame behind his eyes, one that spoke for itself. He didn’t want me to judge the things he hid from the world.. Little did he know that my heart and compassion for him would never change based on past occurrences. But I noticed that’s exactly what he did to me. He based my personality on what he saw through his eyes. He didn’t look behind my physical appearance and surroundings, he followed the surface… I realize now what I didn’t realize then. His own shame is what drew him away from me gradually through the two years of discovering his persona. I always believed I was the reason why he never pursued me, but it wasn’t me… and it has never been. It was the insecurity of our two different worlds. The one I existed in was intimidating for him, a fantasy in his eyes. I’m glad he taught me this lesson. It was a lesson of hurt, of hope… and of realizing it wasn’t my accepting character. It was his own diffidence, and he wasn’t the one for me…because the one truly intended for me from the very moment wouldn’t have had shame and self pity in his eyes. He would’ve had courage from getting through the hardships from his past. 

2 thoughts on “Learned Lesson”

  1. One’s who change our perspective are wonderful souls. It’s especially wonderful that our perspective is able to be changed alone, because it shows we have an open mind.

  2. So bittersweet in a way. You loved, you learned. You learned more about yourself perhaps than him, but it also sounds like you realize you can’t change for another.

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