A (belated) letter to John Doe

 
Dear John Doe,
I hope you’re doing well in life now, wherever you may be. I’ve been thinking of you so much lately, mainly, because I’ve met up with our old friends and your name was brought up a lot. It reminded me of our good old days and how happy we were back then. We had so much fun being young and doing (now realizing) a lot of stupid stuff! Remember that one time I dared you to go pull the emergency shower in our lab room (in the middle of lab session), and you did!? You weirdo! We got in so much trouble that afternoon. Beside the dumbass stuffs, I also still remember all the good things you did for me. You always made sure I was up and awake on time for my early bird class even though you start later than me. You were always waiting for me outside of my first class to say hi before going to the next one. You always texted me on lunchtime asking me what I’m eating even though you’re suppose to be in class, since you have second half of lunch schedule. You always walked me to the building entrance and waited with me for my ride to get there. And you never forget to say goodnight no matter what, even if we were fighting that day. I don’t think I said thank you enough for taking such good care of me, so…thank you. I felt so lucky that I had you by my side since the day we met. You had become my rock since then. All the sad, happy, funny, or angry stories…I always went to you first and wanted you to be the first one to know. Now here we are–in different places, hanging out with different people, and living our separate lives. We don’t communicate much anymore, other than seeing each other’s tweets, posts, and greetings on special occasions. I have so much to say to you that I don’t think half of it would fit on here. I regret a lot of things in life, but what happened with us was probably one of the worst regrets I carry with me. I’m sorry I didn’t support you when I was the only one you turned to for encouragement. I’m sorry I was selfish and thought only for myself rather than for us together. I’m sorry for taking you for granted so many times. I’m sorry I pushed you away and drove us apart. I’m sorry I didn’t properly say goodbye on the last day before you left. I truly miss you, miss myself when I was with you, I miss us. I know it’s too late now. It’s probably better this way—us not being together anymore—because as I look back, I didn’t deserve you at all. You were too good to me. I don’t hope for or ask anything from you now. I know it’ll never be the same ever again. I thought you should know I’m happy for you. I’ve seen how far you’ve come along, and I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished. Also, I just wanted to let you know (even this far in time), you’ll always be with me. I’ll always carry the memories we had together. And no one can ever replace you. Take care!
Best wishes, Romani

One thought on “A (belated) letter to John Doe”

  1. Great cathartic post. I still would not say no one can replace them, you have not met everyone yet. We romanticize memory, even when things are good, they were not as good as we remember.

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