The struggles of being mentally ill in dating

Being mentally ill is very rough in relationships. I’ve been diagnosed with Schizotypal personality disorder and struggle with having an anxious attachment. I have trust issues, question people’s loyalty, high anxiety, paranoid thinking, list goes on. I’ve been going out with my girlfriend for around a month and just started noticing these things. I struggled with the fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of her cheating on me, etc. I actually confronted her several times asking her if she was cheating on me. She said “no, i’m loyal” and proved to me that she had nothing to hide. Still, i wasn’t convinced and have no idea why. I realized these suspicions aren’t real, but i still have them. I constantly check her social media over-analyzing every little thing she does and driving myself crazy. Even in our conversations, it’s difficult. She says she’s been really busy to talk to me and the paranoia sets in. I see her talking to people on social media, posting statuses, etc. In my head, i’m asking “is she really busy? What if she doesn’t like me anymore?” I’ve been getting better however using various coping skills to deal with this. I hope our relationship works out for the best.      

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