lieth call . note to self / mirror the vibe

Why do people allow others o hurt them? I believe this is no right. I do love how Jada Smith looks at love, she is right that pain will somethings be there anyway. But. I believe that people are meant to light each other, to share love. Boundaries are good. If a man takes one step back, take one step back. If he takes two steps forward, take one or two steps forward. I agree with M Hussey on this one. Mirror the vibe. And don’t let ur man take u from his pedestal cause if he does so and you are no longer his queen – he shouldn’t be your kind. Simple as that. 

But that doesn’t mean that they are always necessary / right or healthy. Building walls is my response to getting hurt, upset, betrayed. U can say its not alias great. Yes. It is not. But listen, Id rather have tougher boundaries then open up my heart for everyone to pinch. No. The right people that I already have met in my life and that I will meet, will never be able to upset or hurt me in any way – I believe that, I know it. Because this kind of ppl, u get each other on all the levels, u r two souls that find joy in bringing value to each other. No misunderstanding, no pain, etc. Ann was the very first to show me what love really means in its fulness. 

What happens when u break a vase? I never liked this statement cause we are people – not vases. If u break as easy as the vase does, I wonder how empty you are inside. But still, there is a part of this phrase that I get – when u hurt, upset someone and it is not neutralised by understanding and love – ur feelings towards that peon shift a little. And it is no bad reaction, just something that exists. Lieth, I am sorry I thought u were the kind of guy would would surprise me. I am sorry I thought u were the kind of man who would always stand by his word. I am sorry I thought you are the kind of boy who cares about his girl on special days like birthday / new year / operation. I am sorry I saw u as this perfect guy. It is too much pressure for you. No one is that good. And in a way I am happy I saw the low sides of you, cause there is no need to expect u to be always there for me. Maybe it is what life is about. Even if we find the life partner and spend life together, people leave and things change. Nothing will always remain the same. And it is just alright. It is what it is. 

And I am sorry I am no perfect. I am sorry I am not at the place where I wanna be right now.   Why would I be in a committee relationships when I am not the kind of person I’d love to spend my life with or commit to? That is what keeps me away from u L. Thats what can be the breaker. Thats what I should keep in mind along with the truth that – I need to whip my own touch first, need to grow a blossoming garden first, so then the man of same state and values steps into my life. 

Do we have a future? I doubt it, in a long run and for many means that are up to you. Do we have a shot at having something great for a couple of years? Maybe, I believe we had chemistry. Can we travel together? Perhaps. Are we right for each other? Whoo knows. I no longer ask these questions cause I choose to see my reality even if it hurts. Would u get upset or angry if u saw this post? Most likely, but u’ll never see it. And u may never even know the depth of these thoughts in my head. And even if we aren’t mean to be the lifetime partners, I am so grateful for everything er’ve shared and created L, it was with it, it was beautiful and trust me, it warms my heart. 

Forgive me foe any pain I will cause u. Love u muchly. xo

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