Monday January 14th

I think I am having a panic attack. I haven’t had one in a long time. I stopped having really bad ones years ago. I don’t know if I’m freaking out because classes finally start this week. I have to calm down, though. I’m not sure how to do that. This anxiety and depression is going to be the death of me. I’m scared. It’s 9am. It’s going to be a long day. I have to talk myself down. Okay… I am going to meet with the advisor at school today, talk to her about my entrance exam scores and plans to be a nurse practitioner. Nothing has changed today. I am fine. I am fine. I will get up in a bit, feed John his breakfast, clean up a bit, take a shower, and go over to the school. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine. 

2 thoughts on “Monday January 14th”

  1. I am new to this diary site and your diary was the first I clicked on. I was drawn to it because I also struggle with anxiety and depression. It’s real and unless a person has struggled with it there is no way to help them understand how bad it is. I do understand and look forward to being here and reading your entries.

  2. Anxiety is rough. Before I knew what a panic attack was I went to the ER, and they did the blood test to see if you’ve had a heart attack.
    The journal is helpful but mindfulness will save you. I always had trouble meditating, so they told me to just watch a candle for 5 minutes. With a timer. So often I wanted to stop as I realized I had things to do back in fact seeing them come and go kept me in the moment and made me “live for now”. The hours you spend worrying can be used making it better. Yoga, ti chi, all of it. Jogging is the best, if you are out of shape like me, near death experiences really make you forget the small stuff!

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