I think I am having a panic attack. I haven’t had one in a long time. I stopped having really bad ones years ago. I don’t know if I’m freaking out because classes finally start this week. I have to calm down, though. I’m not sure how to do that. This anxiety and depression is going to be the death of me. I’m scared. It’s 9am. It’s going to be a long day. I have to talk myself down. Okay… I am going to meet with the advisor at school today, talk to her about my entrance exam scores and plans to be a nurse practitioner. Nothing has changed today. I am fine. I am fine. I will get up in a bit, feed John his breakfast, clean up a bit, take a shower, and go over to the school. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 48 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, "just keep breathing in and out, that's enough for today."