Imagine who he would get to know if he brought out the best In me? If he really gave me a chance and always lifted me up.  That girl.  The one that gets treated with love and praise and filled with positive thoughts about herself.  Why doesn’t anyone care to see her? How am I supposed to be anything else to you when you won’t seeaniwytbing else. All I am is sad to you? You haven’t seen anything else? You won’t dven have fun with me.  Your too afraid. I love you so much and I know we could make each other feel so much better.  We could get better together and learn how to be happy.  We could get though this darkeness together.  For real.  But look how you treat me.  Look how you see me??  Did I ever really even have a chance to be anything more to you.   I wish I could explain to you exactly how you make me feel.  Just so you could understand.    I wish you could tell how hard I’m trying to be better with you.  For you.  There’s so much that you don’t see. Imagine the girl that gets taken care of and treated really good.  The one that gets taken out when she needs to rwcharge.  The one that will devote herself to taking care of you. One that your not ashamed to tell your friends and family about.  Not one who someone’s embarrassed of.  Embarrassed to tell anyone about. More concerned with what people think and not how you feel.  I wonder why I’m so shitty now.  But look how everyone talks to me. And about me.  Put yourself in my shoes as best you can for just a min.  No friends no family to talk to really.  No one and Nothing.  Nothing.  And I’m supposed to not be sad when I’m all alone with no one to call and no one to hang out with.  I don’t deserve this.  It could’ve been so great.  Imagine how strong a relationship would be for people who got through times like this together.  Imagine how awesome it would be to know that someone loved you and had hope for you when you were at your lowest with nothing.  But I’m just supposed to wait. Get through all this overcome everything and then be happy and my true self and maybe he’ll love me then? It doesn’t work like that and I don’t deserve that. I wish he really would think about how he’s going to feel when I’m gone.  All those things he complains about me. Hell realized how much he misses it. Why does it always have to happen when it’s too late.    There is so much more to me.   I guess I’ve been shown from the very beginning all that I’m good for.  I guess I’m good enough to fuck and not much else.   Just some one else to take my love for them and use and abuse me. They’ll all see what that has caused.  

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