I volunteer at the hospital today. I think I slept okay. I was afraid I would have to take something to fall asleep, but I didn’t. Noah came over for dinner last night. He told me he had talked to his dad about him telling me it wasn’t appropriate for me to hand out with Noah at his house. Noah is pissed at Brent. I am proud of Noah for standing up for what he believes is right. I am proud of him for not just taking shit from someone- even if it is his father. I’m glad I didn’t say anything to Brent, and I won’t. I am going to stay out of it and let this all play out without any input from me. I am going to support my son and hopefully it will all work out that I will be able to get a place to live soon and he can move in with me. When he no longer lives in Brent’s house, Brent will no longer be a factor. I am still waiting for my student loan money. Hopefully I will get it soon. I need to list some more stuff on eBay. I might be able to sell enough of my stuff to pay off that loan, even without the insurance money. I don’t see how they can deny my claim forever. They haven’t denied it yet, but they just keep stalling in paying me. Asking for more information. I feel like there’s no way I won’t get the money eventually, it’s just a matter of how long I’m going to have to wait. I am going to save all of it that’s left after I pay off that loan. I am saving toward buying a house. I’m pretty sure I won’t have enough money by September to buy one, but I’m okay with renting a house. `It’s 9:30 am. I guess I will get up and do some chores and get ready to go to the hospital.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 48 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, "just keep breathing in and out, that's enough for today."