Feeling trapped

I titled this entry as feeling trapped I choose that because that’s how I feel lately. No I don’t feel trapped in my relationship, I found true love. I feel trapped in the situation I’m in . Which is living at my parents place. Being here anymore is unbelievably stressful and in some ways toxic. Let me start it’s only been this way for like the last year but it’s got worse over the few months. My mother had a stroke in May of 2017. The first year afterwards was fine but last June my boyfriend and I separated for a few months because it started getting stressful in our relationship for many reasons. After our separation my relationship with my mother started unraveling because she blamed me for us being split up. We got back together in October it was complicated situation at the time. Truthfully I don’t believe my mother wants us back together and if so I have no idea why. He is respectful to her and my dad, he treats my kids like his own, works his butt off for everything he has, and treats me like a queen (never been tested so well). So I wouldn’t even know what her reason could be. Back to the stress here…. My mother has extreme mood swings where one min everything is fine you say something or do something she takes it wrong then just starts screaming at you and insults you anyway she thinks will hurt you the worse. Such things as “f you bitch”, “get the hell out of my house and my life”, “I should have died so you didn’t have to deal with me” those are just a few. It’s become like walking on eggshells around her just so you can avoid an argument and that’s no way to live. So my boyfriend has been working crazy hours 12-16 hours days just so we can get our own place and get away from the stress and toxic environment here. He has a one bedroom place that he does occasionally stays at but usually stays here with me since his isn’t big enough for all of us. I know it’s a very rocky stressful situation but I also know that things will work out for us I have faith. My faith brought us back together and will see us through in the future. 

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