Giving up on hope

For the last 3 days I wake up and I puke.  I am seriously giving up on the hope that my life is going to be okay. I prayed to be dead this morning I am seriously tired of living like I have to. It is really dark and plastic, I work my ass off and the darkness consumes me as soon as I walk into the cabin. Yelling at me for the rent, gas money, and millions of other “problems” . I will not go on like this. I live every day and night in pure misery. I have no support to turn to, my dog died two months ago. My family disowned me over these people 13 years ago. I’m am a complete and utter failure in life. People think that I abuse my meds,I barely use them let alone abuse them. I get accused of sleeping around, how? I am seriously never alone, Why? I am seriously so depressed and stressed out that my dick will not get hard. The really fucked up thing I use my day off to clean up this pig farm.house and it is just as trashy an hour later. There is truly no winning here at all.

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