15th may / late ups, empty, someone like Finneas, vulnerable challenge

Its 15th may, 14.00. So far in my day I have accomplished nothing. And I feel guilty for it. 

Yup, this scratching feeling that u get when deep in your heart you know you are harming yourself, rather then bringing out the best of you. Right now thats me. I haven’t cheated with sugar and cookies things yet but I do feel like I am constantly on the edge of making some tea and grabbing the whole pack of cookies – to comfort myself, my worries, my emptiness. 

Empty, wanting love and comfort, unfulfilled, guilty. They say that the only way to shift this kind of state is to start giving instead of asking to get – and giving without expecting anything in return. Tough cookie! Also sharing vulnerabilities – I feel like that can be pretty cool. And the very fact that I feel terrified from this thought – is a good sign that I need to do it. 

How about I throw myself an every day challenge for sharing some worries, struggles and vulnerabilities? Up, I feel like I dint know where to start and like if I share it – it will look pathetic to others. But it seems like there is no other way to open up… Right ? Face ur fears they say…

Today I for example I can share the struggle of wearing up early and feeling isolated, escaping sun. Idk…might as well share the truth.

Important questions. What tattoo projects would I love to create and regularly work on, if I new the techniques, had the skills and the clients who pay well. The answer right now – abstract minimalism, perhaps with some elements of line art, flowers, snakes, maybe even some elements. But blizzard and mind-blowing abstract surrealism on human body – wouldn’t that be so cool ??! Ahhhhhhhhhh

Dreams dreams dreams. Please don’t die. ( lol ! that could be a lyrics to my song ) Man…I want someone like Finneas to write music with. Amen.

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