thoughts

im just a girl that really loves attention, love. i guess that’s what make me sad when i cant get what i love. i had a bad temper, insecurity, overthinking and negative thoughts. i always judge people when it comes to relationship. i didnt realize im just talking bad about myself. im a girl who likes to be friend with a guy. bcs i thought they were fun and lacks of gossip. But people will look at me as a slut. just like im look at a girl who have a lot of guy friends. i realized about that but all of my guy friends said that im not like them. im not a bitchy girl. for them, im not a girl. im just a boy who’s pretend to be a girl. 

when it comes to love, im a different person. i sacrificed a lot for love. i will sacrificed everything to make him happy. sometimes im thinking, is it worth it or not. But im trying not to have a negative thought about my partner. sometimes im wondering, did he really love me? appreciate everything that i did. did he even realize what i did for him. (oh im not talking about z, it’s just me. having a thought about love) sometimes im wondering what is love. what is the real love? 

sometimes i get depressed because of love, friends, family. sometimes i felt empty about everything. i dont know. i dont know what i really want. i just dont. there’s something that hold me from be happy. i just dont know what is it. i tried to find out. but it’s like kinda complicated to understand something about me. 

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