EDGAR, CIRCA 2008

Dear Edgar,

I have received your many messages regarding my spending habits.  First, I would like to thank you for always having my best interests and future at heart and for this, I am forever grateful.  I never worry for money, as I know you will alert me far before I take notice.  I must admit, I now hear your voice in my head as I pass the card to the clerk.

Second, your worries this month are not unfounded.  I have indeed spent a lot, but I must explain to you the reasoning behind this very plain fact.  I find myself in the unique position to help others and unlike times in the past, my spending was not frivolous.  For example, I helped a friend buy an apartment, nothing too big but certainly livable and with a view.  I also bought someone a horse.  The person’s name has slipped my mind, but I do recall their enthusiasm for the equestrian arts.  In regards to the nursery bill you questioned, it was for trees.  30 foot trees.  I actually thought I was buying 3 foot trees so imagine my surprise when the crane arrived to lift them over my building into my humble yard!  They look absolutely amazing by the way, you must come by for a sitting.

Finally, I second your concern over you-know-who finding out, as I know he will go through the roof if he discovers what I have done.  I suggest a new tactic.  Going forward, shall we deposit the funds in a separate account so I am not allowed to access them without going through you?  Would this make you feel more at ease?  And in the meantime, how shall we prevent being found out?

With Admiration,

JAKE FOSTER

December 26, 2008

Leave a Comment:

SCROLL TO TOP