Sun jul. 28, cuts, pics

Vaseline isn’t on hands and arms I put on before bed. Hands very dry. Considering amount of lotions, etc I use this should not be. Arms also dry. 

My laundry by my bed has been mashed down. I didn’t do it and my cats aren’t that heavy. 

6.30am hear someone in the house, roomies sleeping I know it’s not him. 

Mid back hurting, lower back feels like he stuck his knee in it. Shoulders hurt, neck hurts and stiff. Sides of torso hurt. Feet hurt. Back teeth beginning to hurt at 7.50. 

Little garlic on crucifix, may be transfer from lighter. I washed the necklace and can’t smell garlic. Noting in case I’m wrong I’ll find out later as I’m wearing it. 

Church dress so stretched now, I had to put a pin in the front, the piping in front of it is sticking out instead of lying flat. The materials thin and any pleats are no longer there. 

My finger was cut, my face still feels like it’s burning and pores are so large they look like wrinkles. My lips have deep lines, but this has been happening for some time. I think when I was in shelter the last few weeks they began looking normal. Greens no longer fearful of roomie waking up. He uses so much drugs on me I can’t feel anything. I won’t wake up. I’m concerned one day I will not wake from the drugs he forces on me. 

My hands slightly cut along the life line, just enough to hurt not enough to bleed. There was a little dead skin around the area earlier but now I see nothing but still have pain. 

My hands are becoming discolored again. There’s patches of rough, brown skin along the joints. Again, this cleared when green couldn’t get to me. Now for just the last few days it’s back. I really think he’s putting a chemical on my face and hands. How else could this happen? 

My neighbor’s car hood was stuck, he couldn’t open it. That happened to me long time ago. Things just make me wonder. Maybe it was green, maybe not. He likes to mess with people. No one catches him. 

Garlic oil on basement doorknob. Daily thing. Roomie uses it alot and doesn’t notice it. 

My garbage can has a new shoe print on it, much different than the treads the other day. 

My purse straps were cut just a little, car key fob has more cuts in it, they’re small. I keep purse and keys in my safe. Digital, fingerprint safe. He has gotten in it. Yes, of course I lock it and check it. 

My eyes are so swollen and painful and putting eyeliner on made a mess. My skin is very dry compared to yesterday. There’s a cut across my nail on left hand, looks like knife or box cutter was used on it. 

I have large acne bump on my face, it seems more like drug sore I got in hospital on resperdol. I’ve had drug sores alot through the years and never knew it…..

My br smells of garlic. 

Air conditioner went off 2x since I’ve been upstairs. Also it was off when I came home today. 

My left ear beginning to have sharp pain, 11.42 am. Feels like something was jammed inside, idk unless it’s from being strangled. 

2.30ish pm silver van drove past, can’t seem to get make/model;  man with dark and very short hair, no shirt, passenger waved at me. Same van’s driven by my house multiple times, new people in it after the first pass. Man with bun, dark hair, brown eyes in passenger, thin, female with bleach/ pink hair in back seat. Didn’t make driver or other passenger. Last pass @6.30 gang sign was given by passenger as they passed greens house. This van passed this morning when I was on the porch, wasn’t certain if occupants are greens people. Also saw it last night. 

Last night before I went to bed the air kept going off and I heard sounds of someone around. Tried to discern if it were roomie outside, but he’s not going to be scraping the house. After I addressed green and said you don’t have to shut off my air to let me know you’re here, the air stayed on. Somehow he manages to cut off the power strip, maybe crimping a wire? Idk, nothing else goes and it seems when he wants me to know he’s around the air goes off. Idk if it’s supposed to scare me or make me mad. 

The waterproof pads on my bed were hanging beneath the mattress pad and sheet to one side. They’ve been on my bed forever, this happened only a few times before. They are for cats if they get sick to protect mattress. I can go months without them shifting so I believe it’s possible just another thing he does to torment me.

He likes the knife, likes to feel the damage he does. Likes to put his hands, fist, knees, etc. To make direct contact, to feel the other person and look close what he’s done. Doubt he’d use a gun ever. It’s too impersonal. 

I feel greens going to hurt me tonight. Not that he doesn’t any other, but I have feelings he’s mad and thinks hurting me will control me. I picked up my friend herg. Today and brought him home with me, we picked roomie up from work. Green does not, nor ever did he like herg being around me. Herg was my old roomie. 

Roomie told me today he has friends in another city. We could buy a house there, and be much safer. It’s going to take awhile though. I thought maybe giving him this house, rent it out and hopefully some day maybe I can come back. I do want to do more in this community, I just couldn’t anywhere else I lived. My heart yearned to come here. I probably couldn’t get elected anyway, people think I’m nuts but I could still do so much more even not being on council. I want to make a difference. If only to get green out of my life, take a few months or so to heal and bang. I’m back with a vengeance. 

It’s so hard for me to do much, I tire so easily. Just doing a load of laundry and cat boxes and I’m hit. Without stress on my body and having actual sleep, I’ll be ok. I haven’t hit rem sleep in a long, long time. 

Cuts on finger, looks like little holes like he poked me with something. Can’t seem to be still to take clear photos.
Pic enlarged to hide mist if my face. You can see the swelling around the area, and the enlarged pores and wrinkles that weren’t there before. Looks like a little redness next to my cheek in a line going up and down. Is it a finger?
Little cut at top of nail, wasnt there last night but noticed when I was getting ready for mass, I know I didn’t do this. My nails are strong this shouldn’t happen. Also notice beneath nail it looks kind of red, all my nails look similar like someone took some skin off. Also a cut in nail up and down. He really likes the knife. I’ll be lucky to live before he’s caught!

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