Mon Aug 5

Didn’t hear alarm, cats woke me. Groggy, sick feeling, runny nose, incredible sinus pressure overnight. Roomie was in hospital overnight so green had the entire night to mess with me. 

Heard noises of someone in house until around 8.20. 8.27 am green drove past in tan and white truck. Roomie walking from hospital so I’m sure greens friends alerted him. 

9.10pm the posse is moving. I got a glimpse of a few vehicle one the grey mustang, another a truck, I didn’t really pay much attention to others driving by. My mind again isn’t sharp. 

9 36 PM silver van went by. A large older car, black, music blaring behind them idk if that ones involved. A dark wagon followed the black car. 

9 43pm silver van went by again. He’s having them drive by to either try to scare me or just let me know I’m being watched and there’s nothing I can do. Calling police futile, even if I had the notion.

10 PM hearing sounds of green around house. cannot id where the noises are coming from. He’s already entering the house I believe. 10.08 still hearing sounds. 

Afraid tonight when he strangles me I won’t be able to tap quick enough. I remember he said something about strangling before and I was horrified! He told me I loved it. Again thought he’s delusional.  Anyway, the last several times I guess I was aware enough that i tapped quickly and he didn’t hurt me as badly, but Friday was different. I haven’t been eating enough and it slows response in conjunction with drugs. I don’t remember anything but I must be able to respond so I can tap. This is scary, being abused while on chemicals that make you quite unaware of what happened to you, knowing who it is and not knowing what he did except for the evidence on my body and the pain. He’s going to kill me I fear. I’m lucky to have lived this long. For what reason? What’s my purpose in life? Surely it’s not to continue to be abused, or is it. 

Garlic oil on basement doorknobs, cleaned it off. 

Little cuts on my hands hard to describe top layer barely cut just enough to be uncomfortable and very dry . 

There’s a maple seed on front porch, his little sign that’s how he got in last night. I knew that’s how since roomie was gone and I didn’t know and didn’t barricade. I need to know how he’s getting out. Its not taking him long anymore. 

Oil in Tub, its clogged again. For over a week its clogged.  

So tired. My feet hurt, my throat hurts, my lips feel like they were slightly cut like my hands and my eyes painfully swollen. 

Coughing a little. Doesn’t seem to be any new marks around neck but I didn’t really check hard. I’m so tired and lethargic, taking long time to do anything. 40 min. Shower…..that’s what strangle does to you. 

Roomie and I both napped. I smelled garlic oil again it was on doorknob. Around 9pm washed it off. 

Very depressed today, anxious. I know it’s from my physical state. Getting irritable. Don’t feel like doing anything. 

Ray former roomie left stuff here and there’s insulation and oily cotton, cat fur on his stuff. 

I’m feeling helpless atm. It’s from the strangle.

Also forgot to note I have tinnitus. Seeing colors when I close my eyes, of course double vision. 

The attic room smells very strong of insulation.

Fingers on attic br door.
Substance on wall in attic room.
Finger mark and a cut into the wall with something sharp.
Seems to be deeper cut in the wall and the paint is pulled away, and some dirt and synthetic cobweb added to it.
I believe there’s more marks on the wall, this is where chimney is and there’s more cuts in it too.

looks to me like a slide mark someone would make sliding down the wall.

This mark appeared behind the door in the attic br. 
This is on the door on the inside. The hinge is being torn away from the frame. Idk if it’s intentional or from green using the door to step on to get to the attic. Idk what the marks are from. 

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