Tue aug 20. Left before bust, he was warned minutes before.

6.40am woke. Roomie slept in, made coffee heard a slight sound. Before roomie left I checked my bed, sure enough green had grabbed the sheet in the center and pulled that and the pad underneath. I just got out of bed so having big pile of sheet in center of bed isn’t normal. How the hell’s he getting out? Roomie and I on main floor I on porch. How would he have slipped past roomie? Ikr it sounds more and more like disorder. Delusional. 

I smelled garlic oil right away when I woke up on my crucifix. 

Back of my head started hurting. I’m nauseated. Very tired. 

8.00am he didn’t leave! I’m not crazy. Just heard some sounds. I know, I shouldn’t be happy but at least there’s explanation how he got out because he didn’t get out. I’d think he’d be busy laundering money today and not bothering me. Unless that happened already yesterday. 

9something am. Either green or ramirez drove the tan/white truck past my house. I’m still hearing slight sounds so maybe it was ramirez or green has someone else inside. When I was looking out an upstairs window earlier before i went back onto the porch i could feel greens evil coming from that direction. Hes not inside i thought. I know he was. Went to smoke on porch and felt a sort of peace like he wanted me out there. Must have been him in the truck but whose making the sounds inside or are they outside. Maybe someone making sound outside so I think they’re inside? Or were they closing up the exit for him. 

10.37 no noises for quite awhile, they stopped roughly 10 min or so after I saw the truck go by. He was wearing black cutoff shirt so maybe it was green? Hes worn that shirt several days now.  

1.ish pm took nap I feel so sick. He garlic my crucifix the smells making me nauseous. My eyes hurt. Throat hurts. Cats got sick. I used to feel this bad for years. When I went to homeless shelter up to past few days I felt so much better. This will be how I feel until I get to England. Green will keep me so I barely function. I can’t even muster energy to get groceries, let alone cook.  Thank god roomie will be home. If I didn’t have anyone here green would have me in sort of coma day in and out.

Feels like oil on my face. 

Oil in my hair. 

When I checked my phone this am the journal was up, wasn’t logged in but it was up, I know I exited out of the browser last night I made certain of it. Idk if he managed to get into it. 

After my nap my forehead feels like it’s been split in 2. Eyelids are burning. 

Skin beneath my chest has burning sensation. There’s a fold beneath my breasts and stomach, it hurts as I’m sitting. Did he beat me while I was trying to nap? Why is it getting larger? What’s happening. It’s almost as big as my chest again. I can’t go to my friends wedding I will be miserable and there’s nothing I can wear. He’ll stretch my new dress anyway. Can’t wear girdle it’s too painful. I lost a pound in the last few days. I can’t eat. 

Oil on dishes, flatware, etc. 

My friend overseas is thinking of moving back to England so I can speak the language, hes currently in Spain. He wants me to move there.  Idk how I’d survive, but I’d be safe. Might be hungry but I’d be safe. 

Wishing green didn’t remove waterproofing around house all the time, and the carving around chimney and holes in roof make it unbearable damp in basement.

Roomie would sleep down there if it were more comfortable. Then there’s the spring sticking roomie in the mattress. Sigh. If roomies in basement he doesn’t have to be drugged, he still won’t hear anything hes hard of hearing and unfortunately it would be easier for green to get to me but at least my friend would be safe. I can’t keep myself safe so I must try to keep my friends safe.

Left side. Notice my nose, looks like a bruise.
Roomie noticed bruises on my face yesterday.
Wanted to get bruise on face and noticed something on my neck in the photo. My necks way too large.

My friend recalls seeing green hanging out at particular establishments and a definite connection to drugs going back many years. Someone she knows is an addict and this friend remembers seeing green around that addict person as well. 

wondering about att guy roomie and I have both seen at greens. Is greens residence being bugged by the bloods who are supplying  drugs. They would be checking for bugs, securing the lines and installing their own to make sure the operation goes smooth. Just my thoughts. 

Recalling years ago there was drug bust at the same house green lives in. I remember he told me his friends warned him and he was able to get out just minutes before the bust took place. Those guys are all over, it’s hard to keep up with faces and vehicles. They drive past cop shop all the time to watch for police. How these guys were able to know about a drug bust taking place is easy. How they knew where, well they have to have some equipment. Even if they didn’t then, they most certainly do now. 

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