Today is August 21 2019 and it was the first day of my sophomore year of college. Now, though I did move in to this apartment five days ago, i would much rather not live here. There is absolutely no way that i can connect with my roommate. We are simply too different. But there is something that i did learn in this process. No Matter who you think you are, there is always a way to make any situation better. Now, that much is true, i do not necessarily like my roommate, nor do i want to like him. But through the past five days i have learned that i do not need to. I have plenty of other friends in the very building that i reside in, and i can go visit them whenever i want to. The only down side that i have learned so far, is that my love life does suffer. Currently i am talking and in love with a man that i know i shouldnt be. There are so many other people that have told me that he is no good, and that he is just going to hurt me again. But the fact of the matter is that there is no one else that i want to live or be with. When i think about my future he is the one whos hand i am holding. He is the one that is holding me when i feel sad. We have said multiple times that we are the only peopele that we want for each other. But i can help but feel something. There is this boy that lives with a friend of mine. And i only just met him. He is sweet and caring and thoughtful. Needless to say he checks all the boxes in the same way that the other boy does. But the only box that this new boy checks that the other does not is the one that he is unavaible. Now Why is that even a box? the real answer is that i truly do not know. I think that there is something about the forbidden fruit that truly is so much sweeter. Is this wrong? Probably. The fact of the mattter is that i just simply cant help what i feel. When i want to leave my apartment to go to my friends apartment, i am automatically struck with this rush of love and affection or his roommate, and knowing that i can never have him makes me incredibly sad even though i know that i have another guy that wants to be with me. I dont know know how to handle this. Love is a tricky thing and so is living with people you dont even care to know.
The moral of this story. When you look for something elsewhere, you may infact just be hurt in other ways.