Thurs aug 22

6.30 am alarm went off I smelled garlic immediately. Again it made me nauseous. Slept in. Did notice my feet hurting. My sides and hips hurt. Neck. 

When I went back to sleep around 7am I woke to him kissing me, I couldn’t move and could only see part of his cheek. I tried to open my eyes to see more, I tried to move but couldn’t. I could feel his tongue in my mouth, then something cold was in my mouth.  Idk what.  Then I woke up around 10. 

Roof of my mouth feels a little raw. Under my tongue and around my bottom teeth feel a little raw. 

There’s rawness around my back teeth and I can feel where the gum isn’t meeting my teeth. Tasting a little blood. 

I noticed a cut on my thumb. 

My room smells like garlic. I smell like garlic. It’s in my hair too, the chain was oily around my neck. 

My robes been stretched more, the fabrics coming out of it. Smells like garlic oil. Might have rubbed off on it from crucifix the other day. Who knows. Green seems to be on a smelly oily kick lately. 

Feeling nauseated again. Eyes hurt. 

Tmi–very loose stool. 

The strangles, or possibly concussion getting to me. I’m unable to eat/drink without getting it on my clothes and around my mouth. 

Last night I swear I closed out this journal but it was opened to yesterday’s page. I make certain at night to close it down completely and shut the browser page down as well.

When I went downstairs I almost fell, my knee, feet and hips hurt. I tried to steady myself. He will not see me limping. I can’t let him. Knee gave out. 

I’m trying so hard to stay in God’s grace and focus on Him, be at peace but its soo difficult. This is the only way I can fight. I will have victory but it would be nice to have a fellow warrior to pray with and keep my spirit up. 

sort of deep cut on my thumb. Its wide. 

Eyes so swollen there’s been deep depressions on my forehead. The dots around my eyes getting worse too. Side of my nose looks red.
Dirt on my laundry. Whatever it is, I think it’s coming from attic, its sharp and sometimes in my tub so it pokes my feet. Sometimes in my shoes too.

Look carefully for whitish symbols. There’s a face, and a cross with rays

Under arm a little bruising.
Under chin
Scratch on right shoulder. Not cats, there’s only one line.
Rt side. Face is burning as day has gone on it hurts even worse and is redder.
Discoloration around neck and chin.
Bruise on temple and forehead. And cheek.

Under arm.
Lower back black again. Upper is red.

Hole in towel. The edges are ripped away too. 

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