[1] My life

At this point I have been wondering what did I do to deserve this life. I work a job I don’t like. I love someone who will never love me back, and i lost my dad this year after losing my mom 11 years ago to diseases. It’s only me and my sister now, but my sister have her own life. I feel very alone, since I have moved back to where my family lives. I have nothing. I’m almost 30 and I don’t have my own place, struggling to get my drivers license because of my anxiety and depression. I feel stuck with no where to go. All I got is my mom’s dog who happens to be still alive after 12 years. -sigh- I don’t know anymore. I just don’t want to do or go anywhere anymore. I don’t know if I can live like this. 

2 thoughts on “[1] My life”

  1. Hi, You are so young to have lost both of your parents. I’m sorry that things have gone the way they did for you. I lost my dad when I was in my 20’s too. I had my mom, but we never seen eye to eye and she actually depended on me so, no support there. It’s very sad but, bad things do happen to everyone. I know it’s hard to love someone that wont/don’t love you back. That’s when you have to learn to love yourself and value yourself. I have also been down this road, it was the hardest thing to move on from. I still dream about him sometimes even though my life has moved on. It’s good that you have a job and a place to stay. Most people don’t like their job btw. I know I don’t! You’re NOT stuck, you just need to believe in yourself, set some smaller goals or break your goals down into smaller parts. Like just going and getting a drivers test book to study or just facing one small thing that usually makes you anxious. You can start going for walks or doing some sort of art that will help you to feel more motivated about life. As for me, I love to pray, journey and I joined a few church groups. You should give yourself some credit. You’re working, writing and take care of a dog. Now find something that will add to you and not drain you. Keep your head up, you’re not alone 🙂

  2. Hey! I was in a similar position as you are now last year. Going to university I did not particularly enjoy, having no friends and nothing to do in my free time. Try spending your time doing what you want to do, even if this only means watching your favourite tv show. Find a hobby and connect with people who like the same stuff as you do. Getting up the courage to message others was the most difficult part for me because of my anxiety, but what helped me was using sites where you are anonymous. And exercising helps as well. I hate going to the gym so I found a sport I like doing and got into that instead.

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