Today has been a day

First off, I went to the Latinx Club. It was nice and the leader, Fabiola, seems to be very supportive. I like that.

Second, Esther had a seizure. Well, it seems like she had multiple seizures since around 0200. Her mom had taken her to either urgent care or the emergency room for sever nausea and vomiting and they ran tests that apparently were not indicating anything was wrong. Then she started having seizures the whole day. My parents are stating they believe it’s because of a bad spirit whirling around inside of her. That she opened doors to let demonic spirits in by watching some buzzfeed video about sally’s house??? That other girls in church showed her? Anyways, the poor kid is having seizures and she’s DEHYDRATED AS FUCK. Why they kept thinking that prayer was going to be a big fucking help is beyond me. Well, for them this whole ordeal for Esther is just a physical manifestation of the spiritual war inside of her. Apparently, it’s a terrible war. I’m siding with the more in the moment physical side of things and disregarding the spiritual aspects of this until she gets better. While all this was happening I felt helpless as fuck and I wanted to cry because her eyes were SCREAMING for help and I’m a nurse and I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t console her and I didn’t know what to do. I just looked her in the eyes and I knew she understood that this was serious and it was scary and it was unknown territory. Thank god the paramedics were there. I need to work in more situations like that.

Third, well…Susana Flores sent me a handwritten letter stating she’s been thinking about me for 10 years and she’s been looking for me on social media for that span of time. She’s only recently found my address and she hopes it arrives to me. Which it did. Now…the question is….do I tell her the truth? She says she was positive we’d get to see and/or hear from each other once again. I….remained positive for a while and then life happened. A lot of life happened. 10 years worth. I sprinkled her name less and less. I found her on social media, but communication apprehension got a hold of me and I never extended a hand. I just let my lack of choice dictate my life and my negative thoughts rule me. I do want to write her back with the honest truth and see how it goes from there.

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